Sunday, June 25, 2006

something's missing

Some sort of intimacy is missing in my life, though I'm not sure exactly what kind it is. Obviously there are untold manifestations of intimacy...physical, emotional, etc. Physical intimacy, of course, isn't just a full-on, X-rated happening. It is, or can be, anything, from a handshake, to a pat on the back or a punch in the arm, to an affectionate kiss on the cheek or a platonic kiss on the lips, a romantic kiss, an embrace or a bear hug, and on and on. Add emotional intimacy, and there becomes a spectrum of almost infinite possibilities.

I think what's missing in me does have something to do with my relationship with men, though. Even so, I don't know from where, what time, or with/from/in whom the missing part lies...with a father, brother, husband, friend, doctor, acquaintance, etc. But whatever it is that's missing is unsettling, unrequited (at least in my mind) in a way that I can't figure out.