regretting living the regret

my maternal grandparents' family, after my grandfather's memorial service

I have trouble with emotions, especially sadness in general, and grief specifically. But the hardest emotion to manage, I think, is regret. It's hard to get through, or past. I can't even get over decisions I made about my cat Nub seven years ago.That was the cat and mouse of my past, all over again.

And I'll bet that the bigger regret will come later on: I'd like to live nearer my family in the south. But it's hard to just pick up and move, for so many reasons: a job/salary, moving expenses, a spouse reticent to move TO the south, etc. The thing that I'm worried about, because of this hesitation, is that if I don't move closer to my family--so that I can visit more while my parents are in good health--my parents will die and I'll forever regret not having gone to spend more time with them.

It's a real quandary, since I like my job here and I love playing in a pipe band (and there are none in the south). I don't know what to do, and time is flying by.

I'm already living the regret.

:-(