Ceiling Cat proof

Awgooments For Ceiling Cat

Thees awgooments ar in ur computer, teechin ur mind bout teh Ceiling Cat. They ar gud.

Antropik Prinsipul

Teh howse is jus riet for us kittehs. Is not too cowd or too hot. Is jus niec an warm an cuddlee. Teh hoomins gif us fud wen we ask an scrach us wen we mew coot. We gets to slepe anywhar an teh hoomins even gif us warm piels of cleen close to lay on. How awesoem!

If Ceiling Cat dint ecksist how cud all of dis happun? If teh howse wus too cowd we wud be ded kittehs wif ice! If teh howse wus too hot we wud be ded kittehs wif crispees! If hoomins not der to feed us we wud be reely skinneh and ded kittehs. If Ceiling Cat dint maek hoomins for us sleepin anywhar wud not be fun! An no cleen close to slepe on!

Evewythin in howse is riet for kitteh and dat is how we kno Ceiling Cat is reel, srsly.

Fiwst Cawse

Evewythin need a cawse, cuz, um, dat is how it is. We mew an hoomins gif us fud. Hoomins go in noysy box an go awayz an dey com bak wif fud. Dis is cawse an effekt. Who gifs teh hoomins fud? Oder hoomins cant gif hoomins fud so Ceiling Cat mus be givin dem fud for us and dem. See, Ceiling Cat bless teh hoomins wif fud for feedin us, how niec of Ceiling Cat! Hoomins must be pettin him awl teh tiem!

Ceiling Cat maed teh fiwst mew, an he maed fud for awl hoomins and kittehs. Der be no utta way to maek fud, srsly. So Ceiling Cat stawteded it awl!

Ontologikewl

Ceiling Cat pwns yu all. If Ceiling Cat wus in ur head, he wud not be pwning yu awl. If Ceiling Cat wus reel, he wud be, so Ceiling Cat is reel. STFU n00b.

Srsly.

Telljunt Dezynr

Can says "Oh Hai"? Liek who maik teh littrboxz? Liek who putin niec smelly new littr? Sum catz, riet? Nawt jus anny catz, riet? Reeeeeel smarty catz, meeee-oooowww! Can has rubs bellie? Nawt jus anny catz, riet? Niec rubs can has Ceiling Cat. Ceiling Cat has niec littrboxz first anna clumpy littr. Tehn youse catz can has one. Youse skratch, youse sqwat, den youse pee, den youse cover. Niec skratch.

Oh Hai, lookey here! Nawt jus anny littr clump. Who can has maded this niec clumpy pee? Nawt jus anny catz, riet? Must be reeeeel smarty catz, riet? See? Lookey? Sniffz. Clumpz. Taht splanes it. Ceiling Cat teh Telljunt Dezynr uv reel niec clumpy pee. Ceiling Cat sez so. Srsly. K'Thnxbai.

Pascal's Wagar

Pascal wus clever kitteh hu wus laik: "I am not knoin if teh Ceiling Cat is reel." Oh noes! But Pascal was thinkin an thinkin, an he wus laik "If I is beleefin in teh Ceiling Cat, and he is reel, I will be gettin cheezburger. But if I has no beleefin in teh Ceiling Cat, and he is reel, I will be getting pwned. I think I is beleefin in teh Ceiling Cat."

Morals

All teh kittehs are knowing wut is gud and wut is not so gud. Cheezburgers be good, and pwnin ur eminies is not so gud. How ar we knowing these tings if Ceiling Cat has not tuwd us?! Ceiling Cat tells all teh kittehs wut is gud and wut is not so good, so we knows wut to do.

Awgooments not for Ceiling Cat

Awgooment from No Has Cheezburger

If Ceiling Cat be existing, then He is good kitty and has power to pwn all. But if Ceiling Cat is good kitty, then He want all kittehs to has cheezburger. And if Ceiling Cat has power to pwn all, then He has power to gives all kittehs cheezburger. But some kittehs no has cheezburger. :'( So Ceiling Cat not be existing.

(Some n00bs say this is becoz Ceiling Cat gives us Free Will, and real reason some kittehs no has cheezburger is becoz other kittehs use Free Will to steal cheezburger and eaten it--not Ceiling Cat's fault! But this splaination not plausibling: everycat knowz that cheezburger is better than Free Will. kthxbye)

Ceiling Cat prayer

Dis is found in teh Book of Matthew 6 an in teh Book of Luke 11, srsly. Dis beez teh Ceiling Cat Prayer.

Praise Ceiling Cat, who be watchin yu, may him has a cheezburger.
Wut yu want, yu gets, srsly.
Giv us dis day our dalee cheezburger.
And furgiv us for makin yu a cookie, but eateding it.
An leed us not into teh showa, but deliver us from teh wawter.
Ceiling Cat pwns all. Him pwns teh ceiling an flor an walls too. Amen.

known fruit/vegetable toxins to dogs

Yikes...I could've easily fed grapes to my dog, Matilda! :-( Thanks to my mother for calling me today to warn me about grapes and raisins.

Known Food Toxins To Dogs: Fruits, Vegetables, Food

Apple, Almond, Apricot, Peach, Wild Cherries, Plum, Balsam Pear, Prunes and similar fruit: Diarrhea, vomiting, abdominal pain, (Stem, Seeds and Leaves) The seeds of most fruits contain cyanide, which is poisonous to dogs as well as humans.

Avocados: The fruit, pit and plant are all toxic. They can cause difficulty breathing and fluid accumulation in the chest, abdomen and heart

Broccoli: reported to be pretty potent gastrointestinal irritant

Cherry: rapid breathing, shock, mouth inflammation, heart rate increase

Chocolate: seizures, coma, hyperactivity, rapid heart beat, tremors, death. Bakers chocolate is the most dangerous. A dog can consume milk chocolate and appear to be fine because it is not as concentrated but is still very dangerous.
• 1 oz per lb of body weight for (2 oz per kg) of body weight for bakers chocolate
• 1 oz per 3 lbs of body weight (1 oz per 1.5 kg body weight) for semi-sweet chocolate
• 1 oz per 9lbs of body weight (1 oz per 4 kg) for bakers chocolate
• Please keep in mind that these are only guidelines, and if you suspect your pet had ingested chocolate, please keep an eye out for ANY signs of poisoning! Every dog reacts differently to quantity.

Coffee/Tea: Drinks/Foods: containing caffeine or sugar may cause many of the same symptoms chocolate causes.

Cooked Bones: uncooked bones should be safe but if they are cooked you should refrain because they deteriorate and easily splinter. Can cause extensive damage to internal organs and passage ways, may times resulting in death.

Mushrooms: acute gastric effects, liver and kidney damage, abdominal pain, nausea, salivation, vomiting

Nutmeg: tremors, seizures and death

Tobacco: nausea, salivation, vomiting, tachycardia (rapid heartbeat)

Onion: (cats are more sensitive), gastrointestinal upset, hemolytic anemia, heinz body anemia, hemogloinria, destroys red blood cells

Grapes, Raisins, Prunes: kidney failure, as little as a single serving of grapes or raisins can kill a dog. It takes anywhere from 9 oz to 2 lbs of grapes and raisins (between .041 and 1.1 oz/kg of body weight), to cause severe vomiting and diarrhea, and possible kidney failure

Salt: excessive intake can cause kidney problems

Raw Eggs: Many people feed raw eggs to their dogs but keep in mind that they can contain salmonella. Dogs do have a higher immunity against salmonella poisoning but are not immune and have been reported to get it from uncooked eggs.