Frasier Crane's "Buttons and Bows"

"Buttons & Bows"
featured in: Ep 64 "Look Before You Leap"

the proper lyrics:

East is east, and west is west,
And the wrong one I have chose.
Let's go where I'll keep on wearing
Those frills and flowers and buttons and bows,
Rings and things and buttons and bows

Don't bury me in this prairie,
Take me where the cement grows.
Let's move down to some big town,
Where they love a gal by the cut o' her clothes
And I'll stand out in buttons and bows.

I'll love you in buckskin
Or skirts that I've homespun.
But I'll love ya' longer, stronger where
Yer friends don't tote a gun.

My bones denounce,
The buckboard bounce,
And the cactus hurts my toes.
Let's vamoose where gals keep using
Those silks and satin
And linen that shows.
And I'm all yours
In buttons and bows.

Gimme eastern trimming
Where women are women
In high silk hose,
And peek-a-boo clothes
And French perfume,
That rocks the room
And I'm all yours
In buttons and bows.

and the version Frasier sang when he forgot the words:

East is East, and West is West,
And the wrong one I have chose.
Let's go where, you'll keep on wearing those
Dah, dah, dahs and boppa dohs.
Things and buttons and buttons and bows.

Don't bury me, ah, ah, lovely pea.
Ah, something, la, la, la.
Let's all go to a (beat) taco show.
And a shushing and frushing, pull my nose.
Young man, buttons and bows.

I'll love you in buckskin la da da da da-da da.
Ha, ha; ha, ha, ha!
Everybody!

My bones denounce, the fearful trounce and the la la la, Moldic Rose.
Vada seuss, a palm caboose and a danda hop and pantyhose
You're a buppity, buttons and bows!